बैगन का भर्ता

जब मैं बैगन का भर्ता खाता हूं


तो तुम मुझे याद आती हो


जब मैं जग में पानी भरता हूँ


तो भी दिमाग खराब कर जाती हो हो


इसलिए मैंने भर्ता खाना छॉड.दिया है


सीधे नल से पानी पीना मुश्किल है मगर






जब कभी Delhi 6के गाने सुनता हूँ


वर्तमान में अतीत को ना जाने क्यों दोबारा बुनता हूँ


ना जाने क्यूं मुक्ति के आगे असामान्यता चुनता हूं


अपनी ही भावनाओं को समझना मुश्किल है मगर






जब मैं प्रस्तुतीकरण की तैयारी कर रहा होता हूं


कहीं "Add shapes" में एक आकॄति ढूंढता हूं


न पाता हूं कुछ, न ही खोता हूं


अभी भी घोड़े बेचकर सोता हूं


धुंधले सपनों को संजोना ज़रा मुश्किल है मगर






कभी Mordern art को निगाहों से टटोलता हूं


उन आकॄतियों में मुक्ति की संभावना तोलता हूं


वो बारिश थी, फेवीकोल था, या थी मॄगमरीचिका


न समझ पाता हूं, तो बस डोलता हूं


मन का ठहर जाना, ज़रा मुश्किल है मगर






^^ Just the by product of a contemplative hour that I lived........ Could not finish the stupid thing ...... may do that sometime.....may not ... :-) ...Refinements are obvisouly needed as well.

And you keep at it

I have met people. . . some who know you.....some who do not... and they've wondered what I saw in an otherwise seemingly ordinary girl to get so crazy about you. The girls have told me how jealous they were of you and how awesome this was that I was just so in love. More than just a few have said that I have rekindled their faith in true love. Some actually fell in love with me, it seems.

However, my personal sentiments have been messed up like anything. I seemed to have forgotten what it felt like ........ Way to go my love, you seemed to have succeeded in killing the most tender feeling of my life..... so lovely of you...........just know that if it comes to listening to "god"....one must not forget that "god" communicates every moment a person talks to you. And he said he loved you when I tell you that..... you just could not see it.

Tum nhi samjhogi Baavya.......... and I wish it was okay but it is not.

Dreams are getting eerie

I saw you seeking something from god in my dream today....... and god turned around and started telling me...."Look at her...silly girl.. she can't accept that I do not exist". ...

I was totally flummoxed...did not know what to interpret this as....just posting all that I can recall.


I hope you had not expectations outstanding from the biggest illusion ever created.

What you might want to consider

What will hold you true to your path is your love for the truth, that you are not pushing along merely because you have taken the first step, or have decided upon a certain course of action, but also for the reason that you want to know what is the truth,You make up your own mind first to see if that it was, then rejoice if it is, but if not, accept the truth whole heartedly and try again with greater knowledge and stronger faith.

Love, virtually

I just hold true to one thing in hindsight......and I am pretty sure that I've not loved anything or one as much as I loved you.

And I have to have clarity ........

Each of these things held true.

Some answers are coming....maybe :)

Right now.......I am in the same situation, it seems........ I know that this silly girl is so falling in love with me........ almost exactly like I fell for you.......but I seem to be too heartbroken........additionally I cant feel it for her........ amazingly, despite this craving for love, I don't even want to. Attraction is not a choice, that is something that I know from my studies in human psychology. However, I think I was stupid to not induce love the way I know it can be induced into people.........just that I had to stay on in Ludhiana. Anyways........ Best I can do is to bug you a bit by coming to your continent.

I would not be loving you for sure if you're not who I think you are......so you could have rested assured anyways..........hope you're having a wonderful time wherever you are.

I am what I love

Because it wasn't about you.  It was mine, that love.  I owned it... I am what I love, not what loves me.


I am you....... not an issue if you are not me. But remember, you had a choice. A choice between love and I dont know what . You made your move....I hope the move was in line with your heart and soul.


Be happy. 


:) .


Cheers !

एक दिने जब सवेरे सवेरे

एक दिने जब सवेरे सवेरे, सुरमई की चादर हटा कर

एक परबत के तकिये से , सूरज ने सर जो उठाया, तोह देखा

दिल की वादी में चाहत का मौसम है

और यादों की डालियों पर

अनगिनत बीते लम्हों की कलियाँ महेकने लगी है

अनकही अनसुनी आरजू, आधी सोयी हवी आधी जागी हवी

आंखें मलते हुवे देखती है, लहर डर लहर

मौज डर मौज, बहती हवी ज़िंदगी

जैसे हर एक पल नई है, और फिर भी वही, हाँ, वही ज़िंदगी

जिसके दामन में एक मोहब्बत भी है, कोई हसरत भी है

पास आना भी है, दूर जाना भी है, और ये एहसास है

वक्त झरने सा बहता हुवा, जा रहा है, यह कहता हुवा

दिल की वादी में चाहत का मौसम है

और यादों की डालियों पर

अनगिनत बीते लम्हों की कलियाँ मेहेकने लगी हैं

It was a "friend"

A friend I trusted. I trusted him like anything. So much so that I decided to go "naked" in front of him by telling him about my deepest of emotions and feelings. I chose to lay bare in front of him, the silliest of thought and the tenderest of sentiments that I had developed. I found him to be a close confidante of mine and being in the emotionally charged up state of mind that I was, I told him the link to the blog.I told him that I had been blogging about my sentiments and experiences that I have had associated with yourself, my love.

However, this "friend" apparently did not care enough.

One, all the close friends of him and his room partner (both subscribers to the blog) came to know of it.

Secondly, one girl, a common friend of "her" and this friend was told of this blog by him. She was close enough to go directly to you my love and tell this to you, but if I can assure you, trust me when I say that I did not intend for you to read this blog till then.

I knew what that would have meant to you and how It would have impacted your psyche....it is just that the emotions just made me fly for a short while...I had lost track of life, of time..... of myself....and when It all just seemed to go away, my heart got the better of me.

My sentiments and emotions made me do what I would have otherwise never done. I went ahead and mailed about 6 people about this blog.

I hardly received any acolades from anyone, however you had your bits to say. . . . . did you not.

Just be at peace, not like myself...............love.