Aaoge Jab tum .

Dard me. . .

Dard me bhi ye lab, muskuraa jaate hain,
Beete lamhe hume, jab bhi yaad aate hain. :) .


I never thought that this pain would last this long. Maybe I really loved her a little too much, or maybe this illusion of love was too strong..

Anyways, a little message for you:

सितारों को आँखों में महफूज़ रख लो,

बहुत दूर तक रात ही रात होगी ।

मुसाफिर हैं हम भी, मुसाफिर हो तुम भी,

किसी मोड़ पर फिर मुलाकात होगी ।।

Have I been selfish ?

I have been thinking if I have been selfish. If I have been so lost in my pain and sorrow that I ended up hurting my love..... maybe I need to look at the situation from her point of view as well. Since I have no answers, I shall in time try to look at things from her perspective (as I can best judge it) and post here.

This blog was never meant to be read by the one that It is about, but somehow somebody just managed to break my trust. I must say it was disappointing to say the least. Anyways, Now I hope that she does read this. I have been writing everyday. Whenever I feel the need to talk to her, to say anything, to complaint etc, I write ...errrr...type....and then remove all direct references to her and finally post it here.

So much that I have felt for her despite what I have been dished out, I want her to know this since she must. Since this is one human completely in love with another and no reason exists to look down on this feeling.

I LOVE YOU GIRL. EVEN IF I AM SLIGHTLY ANGRY, I LOVE YOU.

पगली लड़की :)

Pagli Ladki


Mawas ki kaali raaton mein dil ka darwaja khulta hai,
Jab dard ki pyaali raaton mein gam ansoon ke sang hote hain,
Jab pichwade ke kamre mein hum nipat akele hote hain,
Jab ghadiyan tik-tik chalti hain, sab sote hain, hum rote hain,
Jab baar baar dohrane se saari yaadein chuk jaati hain,
Jab unch-neech samjhane mein mathe ki nas dukh jaati hain,
Tab ek pagli ladki ke bin jeena gaddari lagta hai,
Aur us pagli ladki ke bin marna bhi bhari lagta hai.


Jab pothe khali hote hain, jab har sawali hote hain,
Jab gazlen raas nahin aatin, afsane gaali hote hain.
Jab baasi feeki dhoop sametein din jaldi dhal jaata hai,
Jab suraj ka laskhar chhat se galiyon mein der se jaata hai,
Jab jaldi ghar jaane ki ichha mann hi mann ghut jaati hai,
Jab college se ghar laane waali pahli bus chhut jaati hai,
Jab beman se khaana khaane par maa gussa ho jaati hai,
Jab lakh mana karne par bhi paaro padhne aa jaati hai,
Jab apna har manchaha kaam koi lachari lagta hai,
Tab ek pagli ladki ke bin jeena gaddari lagta hai,
Aur us pagli ladki ke bin marna bhi bhari lagta hai.


Jab kamre mein sannate ki awaj sunai deti hai,
Jab darpan mein aankhon ke neeche jhai dikhai deti hai,
Jab badki bhabhi kahti hain, kuchh sehat ka bhi dhyan karo,
Kya likhte ho dinbhar, kuchh sapnon ka bhi samman karo,
Jab baba waali baithak mein kuchh rishte waale aate hain,
Jab baba humein bulate hain, hum jaate hain, ghabrate hain,
Jab saari pahne ek ladki ka ek photo laya jaata hai,
Jab bhabhi humein manati hain, photo dikhlaya jaata hai,
Jab saare ghar ka samjhana humko fankari lagta hai,
Tab ek pagli ladki ke bin jeena gaddari lagta hai,
Aur us pagli ladki ke bin marna bhi bhari lagta hai.


Didi kahti hain us pagli ladki ki kuchh aukat nahin,
Uske dil mein bhaiya tere jaise pyare jasbat nahin,
Woh pagli ladki nau din mere liye bhooki rahti hai,
Chup-chup saare vrat karti hai, par mujhse kabhi na kahti hai,
Jo pagli ladki kahti hai, main pyar tumhi se karti hoon,
Lekin mein hoon majboor bahut, amma-baba se darti hoon,
Us pagli ladki par apna kuchh adhikar nahin baba,
Yeh katha-kahani kisse hain, kuchh bhi to saar nahin baba,
Bas us pagli ladki ke sang jeena fulwari lagta hai,
Aur us pagli ladki ke bhin marna bhi bhari lagta hai.

~ Dr Kumar Viswas (At Moksha'04, NSIT)

मैं किस्से को हक़ीक़त में, बदल बैठा तो हंगामा ‌।‌

अभी‌ तक डूब कर सुनते थे सब किस्सा मोहब्बत का,
मैं किस्से को हक़ीक़त में,  बदल बैठा तो हंगामा ‌।‌

What could have been.

Except the dying part. I will not, I just will not die for (without) you , unless it saves your life or something.

Chay ki makkhi.

Roz peete hai chai ...
Aap bhee peete honge... (aai haai):P

Roz peete hai chai.
Aap bhe peete honge aai hai...

Aji humne apni baat kya rakhi...
Aji humne, apni baat...kya rakhi..

Maano unki chai me pad gai makkhi....

Bas ek hi jhatke me kar diya bahar..
Jaise hum the koi besura, betaala shayar...

Jaise kisi car ka puncture tyre...
Jaise koi bandook kare back-fire....

Suroor unka tha (hai) ya khwaab hamara ghalib
Farq hi kya magar is baat ka padne wala ...
Dard aisa mila kya bataun, e mere maula
Maut ka dar tha jo is dil se wo mita daala.

Aisa bhi kya situm humne barpaa diya..
Ek hi baar me jo, wo pagla gai
Arze chaahat kiya tha magar kya huaa...
Baat humse karein ye gavaara nahi.

Itni sanki jo thi to bataana to tha..
itne naatak banae rahi kyu magar..
sach yahi thaa tumhara agar jaanasheen
Dhundhti fir rahi kya thi tum har dagar ?.....

Maine maana nahi ishq sauda magar
Ye chalega agar tum nahi kar saki
Dosti to magaer cheez niswaarth hai...
Kyu use bhi, nibhaakar nahi reh saki ?

Enough of self pity

Time to write a little about the plight of people who can not appreciate other's feelings . People usually shrug it off as "their problem" ...and Not my issue .. and what not ..

Its very easy to say that you're not responsible. It really is. What we forget is that sometimes, there are lives at stake at the other end.

Continuing from yesterday....got interrupted by sleep....slept on the table itself.. :(

Not much to write and no room for elaborating so I guess this is all that I can extend to....the mood is a little mixed.... don't really know what to do.

Shall look to complete it later. :)

O sayonee . . . .

I want to die today.

Just got up

Feeling Bad

Feeling like I am redundant.

What good is financial analytics

What use is money

What purpose is there in earning ?

What reason is there for my anguish.

What makes me remember people every morning when I wake up?